Henry and Tess

Tess A Million Stars!

2007-10-31T12:51:00.001-07:00

Tess A Million Stars! That’s what Henry calls her…her actual name being Tess Amelia Starr. I love that he calls her that. I was going to say that it’s so fun watching them together but then I caught myself with the thought that really it’s only sometimes fun to watch them together. I’m just being honest. They do love each other and the sweet moments are getting sweeter and happen more often. But they also both like their personal space! Tess gets really annoyed when Henry is over demonstrative and hugs her like he’s wringing out a wet towel. Who can blame her? Even though I personally love those bone-crushing displays of affection.

But one Tuesday night, after Henry’s soccer practice, was special. I couldn’t figure out what sparked Henry’s sudden interest in playing with his little sister, but I didn’t care. It. Was. Adorable. When Luke came in to ask Tess if she was ready for bed, Henry said, “No. She wants to play some more.” When she did go to bed, he said, “We’ll play after soccer again, okay?” Tess was loving it, too. She has started getting super excited to see Henry after school, and is really lovey and kissy with him. So, yes, I do love watching all of that!

Some Fabulous Photos of Our One Year Old

2007-03-20T18:13:00.000-07:00

Wye Mountain

At Wye Mountain with the daffodils.

On the front porch with the pansies.

Love at first sight.

Tess with Gigi (aka Florence Starr, Flo Franklin, Nonnie Flo)

You're invited...

2007-02-28T14:44:00.001-08:00

Hey everyone! Well we are home and slowly, very slowly, adjusting to the time difference. It is always worse coming back home. Anyway, we wanted to let everyone know that tomorrow, March 1st, Tess turns ONE! I know many of you have wanted to come by and see her (and maybe a few of you wish to see the rest of us as well). We want everyone to come by for some cake and Tess on Saturday anytime between 11 and 2. This is not a formal birthday party so please do not bring any gifts. Drop by anytime and call us if you have any questions. We are planning to add more stories about the trip as we find the time to write. Stay tuned and hope to see everyone on Saturday!

Home Sweet Home

2007-02-27T13:41:00.000-08:00

Oh, it's good to be home! We finally arrived back in Little Rock Monday afternoon. We were lucky to catch the only plane out of Chicago that day that wasn't cancelled. We were greeted at the airport by J.J., Nana, Bobo, Joe B., Kevin and Kevin's parents Reg and Glenda. I nearly cried I was so happy. We were also greeted by gorgeous weather here in Little Rock. And daffodils and blue sky. Heaven!

Everyone is still adjusting to the new time zone but we're in such good spirits that it hasn't seemed to bother us. Tess is trying to figure out this cat and dogs business. Kavanaugh so wants to lick her all day long and she so doesn't like it. We're also finally able to prepare her real food. In transit, we've been relying on the bottle a lot. But little girl is doing great.

Mom and I bought her an outfit today (size 6 months). I finished putting it on and she rolled over and her pants came off. Girlfriend is tiny! She also got to meet her great aunt today and her great, great grandmother. Tonight she'll meet Papa and Pam who just arrived back in town today after their own travel delays.

Tess's birthday is Thursday! We've only had her a week and she's already turning one! So we're planning a little party and you're all invited to drop by for cake and to see our new daughter. We'll keep you posted on time/date. We hope to see you!

Stuck in the Windy City

2007-02-25T16:31:00.000-08:00

Just a quick update--we're not home yet. We're stuck in Chicago. Our flight last night (Saturday) was cancelled. With luck, we got a hotel room although 2,000 people slept at the airport. We consider ourselves very lucky at this point. Our rescheduled flight for this morning was also cancelled. It's cold, snowy and windy here. It was the wind last night that caused the problems. It snowed today but it looks okay out.

So, hopefully, if things go as planned (ha!), we'll make our flight tomorrow (Monday) at 11:25 and be home a couple of hours later. We can't wait!! We hope to see you soon!!!!!!!!!

Last Call

2007-02-23T03:14:00.001-08:00

This may be our final post before the trip home. It is 4 in the afternoon on Friday here in New Delhi, and after a little sight-seeing and time at the pool, we are about to embark on the adventure of PACKING!

Tess is an absolute delight. She is asleep after another bottle. We are going to fatten her up in a hurry, skinny little thing! Again for the 3 out of the 4 nights she slept for 8-10 hours without a peep. Although she does not like to be put down; when she is awake, she is being held. She loves to laugh and only cries when she needs to poop. I assume the stress of the last few days, the change of routine and diet may be contributing to it. But she will get on schedule very, very soon. Besides us, her thumbs are her best friends. I’m scared at times she may suck them off her hand. Or perhaps she will grow up with thumbs the size of coke bottles. Once we get home to all her toys, she will find other things to do with her hands. Ellen talked about her development stuff. She crawls great, can pick herself up and stand while holding onto something. She gets a thrill out of pulling herself up. She just laughs! Physically she is so tiny. I always joked how she will be in the land of giants and I ain’t kidding. In her eyes you see a sharp little booger. She knows exactly what is going on at every moment and you see her wanting to actively engage everything around her. And in her eyes you see a child that processes so much joy and happiness. Her face lights up when she is happy.

We wondered how she was going to adjust to her new life. The first 48 hours you could tell she had moments of confusion. She would look at us and stick out her lip and furrow her eyebrows. We felt so sorry for her. But the last 48 hours has seen nothing of the sort. She seems to expect us when she wakes up. She pleads for us to hug and kiss her. I wonder if once we get home she may go through a grieving process. For now she seems very happy.

There have been too many moments to begin to describe here. India, the little we experienced was like no other place on earth. The people have been so warm and inviting. I don’t know how many times we had to stop and pose for photos for complete strangers, but we were intrigued by them as much as they were us.

Did this trip exceed all expectations? Yes. Will we ever make this crossing again? You bet. We have promised so many people we would see them in ten years. We will be back. But first we are coming home. Home to our family and friends, co-workers and familiar faces. Each one of you got us here today. Each one of you are the reason we yearn to be back. I hope you enjoyed the trip with us. I hope we opened our hearts to you. All we need now is a US Pizza, cold Fat Tire, and a babysitter.

Almost Home

2007-02-22T01:50:00.001-08:00

One big happy family!

Henry and Ellen at the most beautiful pool in the world

The left thumb this time

“Enough is enough,” to quote my mother on the blog. I couldn’t agree more. I’d really love to stay longer some other time but it will be really nice to be home. I will say that if we had the chance to go to Darjeeling tomorrow instead of coming home, I think I’d jump on it. Now that the “un-beautiful” day at the Embassy is over, we can relax. So many people suggest Darjeeling—it’s called the green something or other because of the gorgeous scenery – you can guess it’s famous for tea. We were also recommended Katmandu—I’ve always wanted to go to Nepal. I really could stay here and travel more—I want to see it all. But we also want to see our family and friends—and introduce Tess.

I’ve been making fun of Luke for being afraid of the traffic in New Delhi. They have actual lanes with dotted lines here—it’s not scary to me. Kolkata, yes. Here, no. This place is super nice. And the weather is absolutely gorgeous. However, Henry just wants to hang out in the hotel room and play. I’m trying really hard to get him to go to the Lodi Gardens and to the Crafts Museum (which is the closest thing to the Territorial Fair at Historic Arkansas—they have crafts demonstrators in the courtyard that also sell their creations). We’ll see.

We are not able, though, to come home early. No available seats.

Henry and Tess are both doing great. Another good night of sleeping. Henry woke up at 4:30 or 5:00, though. I guess we’re still a little out of sync with the time zone. Tess has three teeth (two bottom) and she is getting her fourth (to make two on top). Henry’s been writing all sorts of letters to his friends. Tess is so friendly and happy. Not shy at all but pretty quiet. By the way, she weighs slightly more than 13 pounds. I think she’s 25 ½ inches. The 6-9 month clothes swallow her up in girth but if they are footies, they are barely long enough.

Tips for those traveling soon: British Airways customer service is Horrendous! We won’t travel BA again! Travelocity was also a mess. But Expedia reservations worked out just fine. Also, the day of the Embassy trip, the doctors are open until 1:00 pm. So get to the Embassy early enough to get to the doctor by 1. The woman we went to was Dr. Shakuntala Dewesar and she was awesome! As Luke said, window 16/17 at the Embassy (you’ll understand what this means when you get there) is closed from 1-2 pm so after the doctor, you may just want to go get lunch before you go back to the Embassy.

All clear! Repeat, all clear!

2007-02-21T06:24:00.000-08:00

We spent a l o n g day at the US Embassy. But we were able to take care of everything we needed and received her visa all in one day! This morning we woke up, had a little breakfast, and called for a car to take us at 10 in the morning. An older Sikh picked us up in a minivan and drove like he was on a deadline to the Embassy. I swear, I have never nor will ever experience sheer terror the way I do when inside a car in this country. Lines whether they be white or yellow, make no high holy difference to a soul in this country. I have written about driving in a previous blog, but I do not think I can stress enough the insanity when it comes to driving. New York, HA! L.A., HA! Kolkata, HELP!!!

Anyway, the Embassy. The security runs deep throughout this place. You have to drive around barriers, go through several check points to get inside this bureaucratic web. We have spent our entire trip escorted from one place to another and inside the Embassy was no different. Into one office, out to another, stand in a line, go into another line, sit in room waiting to be called, go in another line, and then finally we leave to be raced through the streets to a doctor’s office in the city. We entered a large, oddly build office complex area to get her physical examination. We walked into a very small office area and then behind the receptionist to meet with the doctor. She was an older woman who greets us with a warm smile and quickly goes through the paperwork. She was very encouraging of our process to adopt and offered many words of encouragement. I felt at ease there and wondered how she might approach someone needing medical help. The area was so small and I didn’t see drug reps running in and out. I could imagine her burning sage and pulling out a tumor with her bare hands. You know, the way it should be. After a quick visit, we then rushed back to the embassy just in time to arrive for the staffs one hour lunch. It was one o’clock and we were all starving but decided to grab another orange Fanta and go back outside the embassy on a beautiful day and sit in the sun.

Now the difference between Kolkata and New Delhi is like night and day. Each one has a unique flavor and atmosphere. New Delhi is defiantly more cosmopolitan whereas Kolkata holds a large portion of very poor people. I want to say that I LOVED Kolkata! I feel in love with the city the moment I walked among the people. Had we gone to New Delhi first, Kolkata would have been too much of a shock for my system, but looking back on the experiences in Kolkata, we would not hesitate for a moment to go back. People lined every street in Kolkata in make-shift houses selling anything and everything wherever you turned. The smells changed drastically with every step combining the sweetest on earth to the most wretched. But it was alive. So alive. The energy was as fulfilling as it was draining. People who had nothing would smile and greet you with Bengali pride. There were a few beggars, but even those who had so little only wanted your friendship. I would dare anyone to find a city filled with more delight and wonder than Kolkata.

So we waited for the embassy staff to finish lunch and went back into the building only after a 6 year old little girl from the streets came over to us. She was dresses in rags and dirt caked her tiny face. She removed a small silver bowl and two sticks then carefully placed the bowl upside down onto the sack that carried it. She hit the bowl a few times, not worrying with the rhythm, only looking around distracted by the cars speeding by her so quickly. After a few quick beats she stood up, raised her right hand, put her left on her waist and shook her hips several times. She stopped abruptly, packed up her sticks into the bag, turned the bowl right-side up and walked directly to me with bowl extended wanting a few rupees for her performance. Now we were always told to not give money to those who begged- for others were waiting in the wings to approach you if you pulled out money. But this young girl gave the performance of a lifetime and deserved a little compensation, but steps before we walked back through the embassy doors.

After much more waiting and standing in line, we had our exit interview. Henry was at his wits end and so were we. As we were moments away from leaving Henry said, “This is not a beautiful day. This is the worst day of my life”. Poor kid. We have gone two days without a respectable meal. Only crackers and those orange Fantas. I had the car take Ellen and the kids (I love saying that now) to the hotel while I waited “twenty more minutes” to get the final visa so I would not need to come back tomorrow. The driver dropped off the family, came back to get me, and took me home to the hotel.

Basically we were able to take care of two to three days work in one day. I know other families in the process of adopting are reading this blog as well. Please know that time in this country exists within a separate reality. I finally understand the theory of multiple universes and chaos theory. They are alive and well in Kolkata and New Delhi. We have pushed ourselves and mostly Henry, to extremes this last week. Having a four year old on the trip is hard. We are constantly asking too much of him on a daily basis. But we have no right to deny him this opportunity. I sat in the bathroom with him and cried tonight. I told him over and over how proud I was for him being so strong. I assured Henry when we got home, daddy would take him to the park and play a special game of baseball, just the two of us. I could see the light come back into his eyes. I wish I could explain in terms the feelings we have experienced over the last week of our lives, yet we have not begun to create such terms, such language. It is frustrating at times to be human. Feeling all sorts of emotions and seeing your existence change over and over again in such a small amount of time. But it is happening to us right now.

Thanks to all of our family, friends, co-workers, people we have never met for coming with us. Henry is ready to present his little sister to each one of you. And thank you for your words. Just to know you are there makes all the difference. We will see you soon.

A little word from Ellen

2007-02-20T18:58:00.000-08:00

Hello. I just wanted to say hello.

Here's what we know about Tess so far - serious thumbsucker! An ambidextrous thumbsucker. And a daddy's girl. If Luke walks from the right side of the room to the left, she watches him--her right thumb in her mouth until he crossed to the other side and then she switches to her left thumb in order to follow him. She's sweet and smiley. She, as Luke noted, started off as a great sleeper. We'll see how long that lasts. She is already getting seriously spoiled. She loves the Snugli and she likes baths (even though some of the kids don't since they've never had any). I think she's a curious kid. We think she's a bit constipated -- she has yet to, well, you know.

Note to other travellers: We flew Jet Airways to Delhi -- VERY nice!!!! I totally suggest it. It's weird. When you fly into the international terminal in Kolkata, you are met with a not-so-clean baggage terminal. It's not a very good introduction to the city for an international traveller. It also seems antiquated. Then when you leave through the domestic terminal, it's like what we're used to in the U.S.

New Delhi is very nice. I'll write a note about it later but have to run. Love to you all and thank you for writing. We are all ready to get home and settle in.

In the Delhi

2007-02-20T18:16:00.000-08:00

Sorry we have not written over the last day or so but as you can imagine our plate has become a little fuller. So many stories, so little time to tell them all. We spent most of the day yesterday packing and making our way to New Delhi. We arrive late last night with exhaustion set so deep in our bones, we were useless. After a mostly restful night, we expect to spend most of the day in the embassy.

I hate to inform other adoptive parents the following news: We are not bragging, but Tess slept from 7 pm until Henry woke her up at 7 am her first night. Now last night was a little different. She woke up a couple of times but I think we know why, it was a freezing in the room. Her temperament is amazing. She spent the entire plane trip laughing and talking. She is a little snotty-scotty and her nose runs like crazy. We gave her some meds for it and for 8 hours she was clear as a bell. I think she could feel the difference. I can’t wait to get her home. We are all ready to get home.

The next few days will be long. We will spend much time in the embassy and around the city taking care of things for her visa. The excitement of the last few days has been tiring. Henry fell asleep last night on the way from the airport and woke up in the hotel room in the dark. He asked where we were. We said the hotel. He was upset, he really wanted to be home. Two minutes of the cartoon network and he was fine.

Little Rock has never sounded so good. I will write more adventure soon, but for now other business is calling.

Love to everyone! Again your words mean so much!

The News...

2007-02-19T06:50:00.000-08:00

Henry finally has a baby sister! And Ellen and I are new proud parents of the most beautiful Bengali girl!

It has been quite a day to say the very least. This morning we woke up to room service knocking on the door and after a somewhat sleepless night interrupted by lingering thoughts of what the day would bring, I hopped out of bed and wrote the morning blog over a cup of coffee. Henry woke up saying, “Love is here! I love you mommy and your mommy loves you.” We poured over the emails and posts, consuming each word with tears and laughs. It was a morning filled with organizing, kissing Henry, and trying to push the lump back down our throats while squelching the butterflies in our stomachs. We could not believe the day was here. Ellen and I talked about how we were feeling, both the good and the bad. How unbelievable this whole thing was and how much our hearts ached and swelled. Time kept marching forward. We wanted it to stop for a while. Just long enough to hold onto each moment with what we had always known, the life we have made to this point. We wanted to remember with fondness the three of us. We wanted Henry to understand, truly understand, we have enough love for both him and his sister. Time kept marching forward. We were an hour and a half from leaving to go to pick her up. I told Ellen I needed to run out for another shave, confirm reservations in New Delhi, and arrange a car for the day. I got back with 45 minutes left and Henry ran to the door and said “I’m ready to go pick up my baby sister!” So we called to ask if the driver was ready and left with two large sacks of clothes, a packed diaper bag and camera in hand.

The trip to the center took 45 minutes to get 3 miles. The traffic was a welcome distraction to the nerves we were feeling. We talked with Henry, held hands, exchanged smiles and kisses while our eyes welled up with tears. Finally we arrive and were swept into a non-descript building except for the dozens on pieces of baby clothing hanging from the outside of the building windows. We were led by a young man who didn’t seem to speak any English, but was very polite. After passing a few guards, we went up a flight of open stairs and into a very small office. We could hear babies crying, babbling, and the general noise you would hear in a center with infants and small children. The walls were as such it gave a hollow feel and the noises echoed throughout. In came the director, Ms Anju Roy. She may have been in her 50’s. Her eyes and her disposition was one of complete calm. Her English was as great as her patience as we asked many questions to gain insight into her first year of life. Her face would glow as she began telling us stories of how Tess is the one who is always laughing. She is the one who all the other kids go to when they crawl around because she always tries to lift them up and loves to play. She was known to crawl from crib to crib to play with the other kids. But over and over again, they talked of her happiness and her constant sweet expression.

After a half hour or so she asked if we were ready to meet her. My God our hearts were about to jump out of our chests. Henry perked up and was smiling from ear to ear. We walked out of the office and around a small corner into the room where she was asleep.

Now at this point, my head went into a fog. It was like a power surge in your home. I felt like I was having an out of body experience. There must have been 15 cribs placed all around a small room. Some kids were up, others asleep. They seemed to be in awe as we came into the room. Everyone was quiet including the 4 Ayahs (caregivers). One of the ayahs walked aver and picked up a sleeping Tess and she strained to look around the room in the haze of her nap. Henry ran over to her and we followed. We waited a moment to take her but immediately began stroking her and speaking to her. I think we were the only ones in the room who spoke English so as we were speaking to her, no one, including Tess, understood anything we were saying. I took her first. She leaned against me and put her arms around me. She then leaned back to take another look at this stranger. Ellen took her soon after. She kept looking at me. I think it was the fact she wasn’t use to seeing men. After many pictures and long goodbyes we made our way out. The entire process seemed to happen in a flash. We felt like we should have stayed the day, but they were comfortable with the routine and everything flowed without our control. How do you tell someone how much you truly appreciated what they have done for this little girl the first year of her life when they don’t understand anything you are saying?

But we made our way to the car with Tess wanting nothing more than to be in Ellen’s arms and raced through the streets of Kolkata to return to the hotel.

I will write more details about the rest of the day later. It is 6:30 at night and we have seen her laugh out loud and cry with the pain of not knowing where or why she is here with us. We can already see the struggles and hardships, the complete joy, the exultations and the questions to come. How do we leave the life we know and begin the life to come? How will Henry embrace his sister? We don’t know how to comprehend and understand it all. Perhaps we never will. All we know at this point our little girl needs our love, our devotion, and her diaper changed.

Oh, the places you'll go

2007-02-18T18:48:00.001-08:00

Today is the day! Three long years have passed since we first committed to this ‘labor of love’ and today is the day we give birth to our new daughter. My stomach is in knots. I woke up several times last night thinking of every little situation that has occurred to us during these last few days and tried to imagine our lives over the next few decades. First, the last few days…

Driving here is an art form. We have driven to many parts of the city and countless times I said to myself, “We are not going to make it”. Remember the British? The one legacy they left was the ‘driving on the wrong side of the road’ legacy. Here you are driving on narrow streets with millions of bicycles, millions of motorcycles, millions of buses, millions of cars, traveling at high speeds directly towards each other down the middle of the street to avoid the millions of people walking on the side of the streets. And at the last moment they go left of each other. Now friends, I can adjust to new foods, smells, language, ect., but I will never get use to swerving left at the moment of a head-on collision. And the horns. The use of the horn is not a symbol of ‘hey you jerk move over’, it is a simple reminder of ‘excuse me sir, I happen to be coming up on your left”. Which makes it the most used item in the city of Kolkata since each soul that lives here is constantly coming up on someone else’s left. Some people simply never take their hand off the horn. They see the thing as a constant reminder to the world they exist. You must be heard to be seen. Last night we had to go out and while driving we noticed over half of the cars in the city did not have working headlights, but when they did, they keep them on bright. Either you are blinded by your fellow driver or you cannot see them at all. And when stopping at a red light everyone turns off their lights as a courtesy to other drivers. Many turn off their cars. So after the chaos of driving inches away from everything around you at fast speeds, everyone stops, turns off their lights and cars, and sits in darkened silence exchanging quiet glances with one another.

Enough about driving. Our luggage arrived! My undershirt began to cry the moment we got the call from the front desk that it had arrived. Now all of a sudden our room is a mess. It was so tidy before not having many material possessions to get in the way. When I saw the bags I embraced them. People in the lobby thought I had lost it. Opening the bags in the room felt like Christmas morning, everything so new and interesting. Oh look, pants! Oh wow, a pair of socks! Shaving cream! We are so American.

Our last night as a trio was spent at the home of the young lady we met on the plane from Milwaukee. She is originally from here but works for GE in Wisconsin. She was coming home to surprise her folks for their 25th anniversary. I had mentioned previously we were invited to her family’s home but last night was the first chance we had to go. It was a very beautiful home in a very nice neighborhood in Kolkata. We had what I called a pre-dinner meal. I was full after eating it but I managed to consume such more afterwards. We met her parents and brother who had also traveled to be here for their anniversary. What a wonderful family to invite strangers into their home and how lucky were we to be able to travel 8,000 miles for a home cooked meal! Everything was superb. After dinner I asked if they had a bed we could crash on and just stay with them for the rest of our trip. So if you read this, thank you Preeti, and thank your family for a wonderful evening and a chance of a lifetime.

Yesterday we went around they city starting with a trip to Science City for Henry. This place was a trip. It was a very large facility with unusual buildings housing different exhibits relating to science. It cost about 70 cents to get into and then each building you entered was another 50 cents of so. We tried to go through the Dinoworld exhibit, but after entering a dark room with barely visible life-sized dinos, Henry said “no way!” (Later in the car, we asked if it scared him and he said, "It scared me to death!") We walked into another building with Mid-America Museum like interactive exhibits and Henry wore himself out with those. The odd thing was while walking throughout the complex; we had numerous people asking if they could take pictures of us, with us, with each other, and so on. I don’t know how many times we had to say to Henry to ‘get over here and smile for the camera’. Wild. I mean, I finally know what Madonna feels like. People were very kind but I can’t imagine walking up to an Indian family at the Little Rock Zoo and asking if I could take their picture. Oh, well.

Again, today is the day. In four hours we will be holding our little girl. We have packed everything for the children’s home into plastic bags, gotten her diaper bag packed and ready, and we are about to work on our list of questions to ask about her when we arrive. We all sat on the bed last night and talked with Henry about everything once again, He was like yeah-yeah I know already! I cried for quite some time. I realized I never need to take any moment with Henry for granted. He is such a loving and kind soul. I thought about everything we have done together as a family of three and how everything is about to change. They were tears of sadness, but mostly they were tears of joy. We can’t believe we are here, experiencing the things we are experiencing, and about to embark on a life adventure like no other. Tess, we want you to be with us so deeply. Henry, we know you have too much love to give to not share it with a sibling. And Ellen, hold on, the rollercoaster is about to begin…

Regarding Tess

2007-02-17T17:40:00.000-08:00

It’s a complicated thing, this thing called adoption. Complicated because you spend so much energy wondering about questions that may be asked or perhaps will never even be thought of. I mean, here we are, sitting in a hotel in the heart of one of the most intriguing places on the face of the earth. We traveled to the other side of the globe to bring home a baby girl that we have never laid eyes upon, but love and are drawn toward so deeply. We sit in our hotel, walk the streets, greet and talk to strangers, all in the act of seeking Tess.

What questions will we face from her and others throughout our lives? What do we have to offer that is so special? Will she love us? Many questions we have talked about but do not want to discuss with others. We question and re-question and we keep moving forward. We know Tess will be home when she is with us.

Basically, the impact of being here and the emotions surrounding the reason we are here are overwhelming to say the very least. The atmosphere of the city is intense, both attractive and heart-breaking. The travel here was energizing and exhausting. Knowing after three years of working and waiting we are 48 hours away from picking up our daughter sets off unbelievable emotions. And to be honest with you, the one thing that is keeping us grounded inside this hurricane is Henry. He is weaving his way through this with steadfastness and perseverance. Maybe it’s the fact that he is four and that four year olds adapt to many circumstances much easier than 34 and 40 year olds (sorry Ellen). Seriously, he has been amazing. I keep saying that, but I really can’t say it enough.

And he is soooo ready to pick up Tess. Every time we walk out the door he asks if we are going to pick her up. “In two days” we say. “Two days?!?!” he says with a pout.

3 hours in Kolkata

2007-02-17T04:23:00.000-08:00

Well, we went out to see what we could see. Check out the pictures (look to the right near the top where the links are and click on “Our photo albums” which will take you to a place where you can choose to view our slideshows. See Kolkata – Day 1.

The first place we went was the flower market. I think the photos say it all. A driver from the hotel took us and escorted us. I was glad because it was a little overwhelming at first and I could have easily gotten lost. We weaved in and out of the stalls at a quick pace. There was no real lingering. We were trying to keep up with Victor. We went up to the bridge where (after checking the travel book again) it’s actually TWO million people a day who cross it. That’s where I took the chicken photo and almost got arrested. I couldn’t quite understand why but you are not allowed to take photos of the bridge. We went back down and then went to the riverfront where people bathed and brushed their teeth. Lots and lots of dogs everywhere in Kolkata but a whole lotta dogs down there by the river. We were leaving and Henry wanted to stay so we stayed longer. He was mesmerized by the all of the birds and loved when they all flew off at once. Against his will, we eventually left and made our way back through the market.

Then off to the botanical garden. We drove over the bridge to get there. And we were in Old Kolkata. It seemed like we drove forever to get there. We saw a lot on the way—not tourist sites and buildings, but just people going about their daily lives. We finally arrived and drove right up to the Banyan tree—that was kind of funny, I thought we’d walk. We got out and walked around a bit but had to leave without seeing much else because Henry had to use the bathroom. So we headed over the New Bridge to South Kolkata (or at least south of we we’re staying) and to the restrooms at the Taj Bengal hotel—a very nice hotel with good looking pastries.

Throughout the morning, our driver pointed out or drove us past some highlights: the post office, the Governor’s house, the parliament building, Eden Park (where cricket is played), the horse races (Luke is itching to go there!), the Maidens (green space near the Victorial Memorial where people hang out, play cricket, tourist take horse rides, and people take their goats and sheep to graze) and the Victoria Memorial. The Indian Museum is just a block down the street from the hotel but we haven’t been in.

We got back to the hotel and couldn’t believe it had only been like 3 hours!

When we got back Henry wanted to swim again, of course. And the water is super cold even though the high is 90 degrees most days. It’s been cooler than that, I think, but also it gets cool at night. He just shivers and shivers but won’t get out. He made lots of friends (he was giving out “secret letters” to everyone he saw—he’d write a few scribbles and hand it to “people he liked,” he said). While we were at the pool and I was visiting with a woman who invited me to have a drink with her (Henry had given her a letter), Luke went to the markets around the corner. He bought a couple a bath toys for Henry and a used white shirt for himself so he would have a change of clothes. He also got a shave with a straight razor and a facial massage. They also loaded him up with cologne!

One of our favorite things to do while in the room is to look out our window which overlooks a busy square with all kinds of activity: vendors selling sweets and other food, shoes and things I can’t make out. There are lots of different people, traditional and modern, business attire and bare threads. There are lots of rickshaws and local people riding them. They are all carried by foot although around town there are lots of bicycle rickshaws. In the square there are also motorcycles and walkers. Not too many cars in this square although there are some. It’s busy but not that busy for Kolkata. We hear vendors calling out and horns-a-plenty. At night, we hear the dogs fighting.

It’s now 4:30 and Henry has fallen asleep. We’ll see what time we wake up tonight!

Photos...

2007-02-16T22:47:00.000-08:00

Check out the 'Our photo albums' to the right to see some photos from the first day out and about. Ellen will write soon. She has taken Henry to the pool for a swim and I am about to hit the markets again. Will fill you in on the details from the day soon...

Lots of love to those back home...and thanks for saying hello!

Hello from Ellen

2007-02-16T16:18:00.001-08:00

Henry blogging at 2 in the morning

Hello. Ellen here. I just wanted to write a word or two so that you all were assured of my well-being—ha! Luke has been a blogging fool so I really don’t have much to add. We slept most of Friday and all woke up around 2 am. We held out until about 3:30 and went down to the restaurant and ate dinner. Thank goodness this is a 24-hour place (although it seems like the city itself wakes up at 10 am). Henry has tried just about any food that has been put in front of him (although he did inform the waiter this morning that he was a vegetarian. To which the waiter replied, “So am I.”). I’ve had a splitting headache so that espresso this morning was VERY welcomed. Yay—I got my fix and I’m ready to go. It’s about 5:45 am now and we are set to go out and see Kolkata at 8 am. I’m excited. I really want to go see the flower markets under the Howrah Bridge. I also want to see the bridge which (according to the travel books) has more than a million people crossing it by car, foot, bicycle, etc. a DAY. And another site on my list is the botanical gardens so we can see the oldest Banyan tree which has the second largest canopy in the world (don’t ask me where the largest is). We’ll see what all we see and we will upload photos to the other site.

I was sorry Henry had fallen asleep in the car from the airport because we were Speeding with a capital S down the main thoroughfare along with walkers, people on bikes, etc. (he was awake for that) when we saw a herd of goats, seemingly comfortable with the pavement and urban environment, dodging traffic. I had told him we would get to see animals in the traffic—maybe we’ll see some today. It’s amazing the way the cars whiz through the streets with all kinds of obstacles and that was in the dead of night when there were few people out. It reminds me of Boston, actually. Well, we’ll check back soon. I’m jealous that Luke has been out and about (searching for floaties) and I’ve not seen a thing yet.

Thanks a MILLION for posting!!! You don’t know how excited we get when there are messages. We really look forward to it.

p.s. Please post on the blog but if you need to get in touch with us personally, email to ekorenblat@yahoo.com. Thanks.

Floaties in Kolkata

2007-02-15T23:23:00.000-08:00

It’s noon in Kolkata. Since looking out our window and taking the photo of the sunrise early this morning, we have seen the streets fill with sights, sounds, cars, people, and more people. Henry wanted to go swimming this morning and did not have any floaties (the things that blow-up around the arms to keep kids afloat). I asked the folks at the front desk if they had any. After about 5 minutes trying to explain what “floaties” were, a young lady suggested I walk down to the market. Now let me begin by saying the hotel we are staying in is beautiful. It rests within one of the busiest areas of Kolkata. I keep referring to it as a ‘compound’. Buildings, none over several stories, line busy streets with storefronts and venders lining the sidewalks. You turn in under these grand arcs between these old buildings and you are in a private oasis, the Oberoi Grand Hotel. We feel like royalty. Staff fills the entry way with guards all around. Everyone is dressed impeccably and each person greets you with clasp hands and a deep bow. Everyone is so beautiful from their dress to their smiles to their wonderfully bronzed complexion. It seems like a dream. But let me take you to the market. Outside the grand arcs the streets are filled with people. Everyone wants only a moment of your time a dollar for some goods. But here I am walking the streets of Kolkata looking for floaties so Henry can swim. I walk down the street weaving through the crowd, exchanging glances and smiles. I see an odd looking shop that sold tennis rackets. I walked in and this short jolly man with hair like the comedian Galligar, yet grey, welcomes me. I explain what I am looking for and with moments he pulls out an old sack of floaties that must have been made in the early days of plastic. He offers me a seat where he was sitting and takes the time to pump each one up to assure they worked well. I pay him 200 rupees, about $4 and we embrace in a hearty handshake and I am gone. Floaties in Kolkata.

It reminds me of Istanbul but the people here seem to be more at peace. Everyone loves to talk and ask questions and appreciates honesty and good conversation. English seems like it is the primary language. You encounter many businesses with English signs and many speak the language better than most Americans. All we desire is to recover from the intense trip today and will venture further out into the city tomorrow.

But here is the news everyone really cares about and the reason we have brought our hearts to the other side of the world. I spoke with Ms. Roy, the head of the children’s center, and we will pick her up on Monday at noon! She asked, “will you come today?”, I told her of the luggage and our desire to know Tess’s home a little better before we come. Plus, without the donations to the center, her bottles, clothes and other necessities from the luggage, it would be very difficult to do this. But knowing we are in the same city, the same area of our daughter, keeps our spirits high and our hearts strong. We’ll see you soon little girl.

I must say once again how incredibly strong and brave Henry has been. He ran around the plane from London to Kolkata in his Superman pajamas and had the whole plane in his palms. Everybody commented on his good behavior and how cute he was. He has been a super-trooper!

Love to all of our family! I know everyone is worried about us, but we are doing so well. A little tired, but we are safe and sound. Thanks for the comments; it is great to hear from you all. Keep you “posted”!

WE MADE IT!!!

2007-02-15T16:28:00.000-08:00

We made it after a long and complicated trip. Here is what I wrote while we traveled...

Well, hello there! We are half way over the Atlantic Ocean as I write this and I must with all sincerity, this has not been a flawless journey. First the bad news… our flight was delayed almost two hours in Little Rock. No big deal, right? Well that made us 2 hours late getting into Chicago. We arrived at 5:05 with our flight leaving at 5:30 in a different terminal. We got off the plane with poor Henry running like the wind. After running down the wrong hallway, we turned around and just missed the tram. We waited for 5 minutes and hopped aboard. We had to check thru security, taking off the shoes and all. Luckily there was a man in a little buggy that gave us a ride to our gate. I was yelling down the terminal, “Hold the London plane! Hold the London plane!”
We jumped off just in time to see the runway detach from the plane. We begged, I mean BEGGED them to let us on. No go. They tried, but no go.
We were rebooked on a flight that left at 7:05 pm and arrived 45 minutes before our flight to Kolkata. Another rush job at the airport coming up. But… just as we were to leave the gate on our new flight, we have a wheel malfunction. We left an hour and a half late which, with the plane going full speed, puts us there at the time our plane to Kolkata is expected to leave. The next available flight thru British Airlines to Kolkata is TUESDAY. Or, if we miss it and are lucky, we fly Indian Airlines after sitting at the airport for 12-14 hours.
That is the bad news. The good news is that we are on our way. No airline, no airport, nobody is stopping us from getting our little girl! Put a million blockades, we’ll break ‘em down. WE ARE ON OUR WAY!!!!
We are 2814 miles to London and several thousand more to Tess, but everybody better get out of our way!
Henry is a world traveler. He has been very patience. The plane we are on is a 777 and has some space. Henry is lying down with Ellen in an empty row of seats. I am watching the movie Man of the Year with Robin Williams. We are tired but we are resolved.

……..

We are on the flight from London to Kolkata and the trip seems to be going much better. The flight from Chicago landed 10 minutes before the fight to Kolkata was to depart, but after running what seemed like 22 miles thru the airport, it had been delayed for over an hour and a half. We were able to catch our breath for a few moments before we took off again. I swear, it feels like a week ago when we left Little Rock. I asked Ellen, “are we going to make it?’… “Do we have a choice?”, she responded.
Henry was a little shaky after the first leg, but he had just woken up from a 4 hour nap. I have not slept now for 26 hours and I feel a little out of my mind. Ellen is going strong, as usual.
The one thing I keep coming back to is the people we are meeting. After I had several problems with Travelocity the last week, a customer service supervisor resolved an ongoing problem. He then said he was from New Delhi and was so happy with what we were doing. He gave me his personal number and said if we weren’t traveling on business, he wished to take everyone out for dinner.
Then today this young woman who works in Michigan and is going home to visit family in Kolkata was with us during the rough transfer in London. We talked for some time and she invited us to have dinner with her family in Kolkata! Amazing. I don’t think we had a clear idea of how people were going to react to us being here to adopt a child, but I have to tell you, everyone we have meet has showed so much compassion and thoughtfulness. The strength we will draw from the people of India will carry us through. I am honored to have my daughter with the history of this rich country coming home with us. I hope someday she will come to know the beautiful people who care so deeply for one another, even a few strangers from Arkansas.

……

Ok, we are here! We made it (but our luggage didn't). It is 6 am and Ellen and I have not slept in over 36 hours and are about to go bananas. Our luggage is in London and will not be here until SUNDAY. We also did not have a driver there to pick us up as we requested. Kolkata at 4 am is quite. We expect to see something different tomorrow. We are planning to spend the next day here at the hotel trying to get over this jet-lag! I’m seeing things and have no extra clothes. Maybe I could wear this computer.

Parents and friends, we are safe and sound! Will write again after some rest. Thanks for the comments...keep 'em coming!

We are OUTTA HERE!!!

2007-02-14T06:22:00.000-08:00

In a few hours we will jump on the plane and head to India! We all had a good nights sleep and have been enjoying our last night in our bed, the last shower in our house, and seem to be rested and ready. We invite everyone to write a comment as we go on the journey, even if it is just a "hello". I feel like we are taking every one of you with us as each one of you have been our strength over the last few years.

As you can tell, we packed a few things. One suitcase is full of donations for the orphanage and the rest is full of clothes, food, meds, passports, papers, electronics, yadda, yadda, yadda! Basically everything we pack when we go camping.

The other photo is Henry practicing with the Snugly. We are hoping he takes care of Tess while Ellen and I do a little sight-seeing. We'll see.

24 hours and counting

2007-02-13T10:24:00.000-08:00

We are sitting down to lunch with a grilled cheese and spaghetti-o’s, taking a break from packing and cleaning the house. We are flying out tomorrow hoping our little Tess will have her passport when we arrive. With a process fraught with twists and turns, the latest was a fire at the passport office in Kolkata this weekend! They were to mail her passport Monday and have it at the orphanage by tomorrow, but with the FIRE…they may not receive the passport until next Monday, the day we are to pick her up. Oh, well. We are determined to stick to our plans and leave expecting everything to be in place when we arrive.

And a water main broke in our neighborhood and we had no water last night and we are not guaranteed water over the next 24 hours.

But, we are so focused on the moment we hug and kiss our little girl, nothing else matters. Henry is ecstatic. The other night he was lying in bed and turned to Ellen and said, “I hope they are taking good care of my baby sister in India”. We both started to cry. This morning I was driving him to school and we were talking about the trip and he said, “Daddy, I have been patient a long time. I am ready to pick up my baby sister”. We all are.

Now that Henry is expressing his desire to travel, I cannot imagine not taking him. He wants so much to be a part of this journey.

We're leaving on a jet plane!

2007-02-09T11:54:00.000-08:00

The last three years comes down to the next few days! The three of us are packing up and heading to India on the day of love, Valentines Day. We are so excited! We also can’t believe it is all finally happening. Our plans are to stay until Saturday, February 24th. Actually our plane lands late that evening from Chicago at 10:55pm.

Here’s the deal. We are taking a computer and will be updating this blog every chance we get with photos, stories and more. We want each and every one of you to log on as much as possible and please, PLEASE LEAVE US A MESSAGE. Co-workers, family, friends, everyone is welcome to say hello. Your words will mean a great deal to us.

Again, thank you all for your support during this process. I was asked today why we did not charter a plane and everyone could join us! I wish we could, and I hope this blog will be your ticket to travel with us! Keep in touch and see you in India!

p.s. YES, HENRY IS GOING!!!

New Picture and New News!!

2007-02-02T09:11:00.000-08:00

Here's are latest picture of Tess - isn't she sweet? This was taken January 7 when she was 10 months old (her first birthday is March 1).

Also, just in...the passport has been approved! We have been counseled that we still must wait until it is in Mrs. Roy's hands before we purchase tickets but that we can start putting holds on tickets and making travel arrangement for around February 15. Yippee! We'll keep you posted!

The Wait

2007-01-24T13:41:00.000-08:00

I can’t help but think of that song by The Band. Although, it’s called The Weight. But this waiting definitely weighs on us. It’s been really tough for us lately. We are only waiting on her passport now and it should have already been issued according to the timeline (max 30 days). The latest email from the agency is “the passport should be dispatched by February 5.” And, don’t get your hopes up or buy plane tickets because we want to make sure the passport is actually in Mrs. Roy’s hands. (Mrs. Roy runs the children’s center.)

I’m starting to wonder if Henry believes there actually is a Tess. Or that we are actually ever going to India. We keep talking about her and our trip but nothing ever happens.

Henry-isms: 1) He asked me the other day, “Where did you pick me up from?” 2) This morning he commented on Luke and I talking about India. I told him that we were talking about it because it was going to be a long trip and a hard trip, and we wanted to be prepared. “I’m prepared,” he said. “I’m prepared to feed her a bottle.”

P.S. Check out our photo albums (click the link to the right). This is in the experimental phase. We hope to post all of our trip pictures as we take them so you can follow along on our journey. You can also take our poll.

Showered with love...

2007-01-12T13:37:00.000-08:00

On Wednesday, January 10th, a lot of beautiful people came together to throw a shower for our little Tess. Folks from Ellen’s office, the Historic Arkansas Museum, stripped the shelves from every baby department in the tri-state area and threw us one grand party! Only a week ago we were stressed about being prepared for the trip, and now we are not only prepared for the trip, but her first year of life! It was truly a wonderful event and everyone was so generous and thoughtful.
We never really knew what to expect when we started this journey, but the love and compassion we have received from friends and family has been tremendous. I hope each one of you reading this understands how much you mean to us. When we walked into the room the other day, seeing the balloons and pink, pink, PINK, it made everything feel real. I think about her day and night, but not until this party did it hit me. Soon, she will be with us all. Soon, she will be home. Thanks, guys.

Luke's Labor

2007-01-06T09:21:00.000-08:00

This one is Luke’s labor. From the beginning he knew it would be – he wanted it to be. Maybe he was envious of my pregnancy and three-day labor. He has definitely outdone me, though, with his three-year labor. He has tirelessly filled out, kept up with and had notarized an enormous pile of paperwork—it has overflowed from our original three-inch, three-ring binder. It’s the kind of thing that makes my head hurt. I’d much rather seize up with contractions than keep all those I-600s, I-171Hs, I-184s, visa applications, …. Straight. Just last night, he was up sitting at the dining room table (spread thick and thoroughly with papers) sorting through, checking dates and locating missing pieces while I played with Henry on the bed. He discourages me from even looking at the lists as they are all so overwhelming (I know this because I have looked but don’t tell Luke because I really think I’d just mess things up if I got involved. I mean, really, he’s doing a Great Job and it’s like having too many cooks in the kitchen, right?). Well, all this is to say that I owe him a lot and he’s certainly put in enough labor to match mine with Henry. I may even consider it enough labor to match a year of breastfeeding, too. Well, then again…

Her Name

2007-01-02T09:27:00.000-08:00

So many people ask me about Tess’s name so I wanted to write something. First off, she has two middle names—something that always seems to throw people off a little. I guess we’re making up for my mom’s lack of a middle name. Forever she’s had to explain that she’s just Joyce. Franklin. That’s it. So Tess will have to explain that she’s Tess Amelia Starr Kramer and that yes, she knows her initials are TASK.

Henry was almost named Amelia—had he been a girl. It’s long been my chosen name for a girl. I loved the Amelia Bedelia books and that’s probably why I loved the name. There are other reasons but I had to edit as this entry was too long!

And she was ALWAYS going to have the middle name Starr. My grandmother’s stage name (yes, if you don’t know, she was a star with one r) was Florence Starr (that’s her above, and a piece of trivia here, her makeup in this picture was done be the Max Factor himself). Her given name was Flora Wolfe Scheuer. My grandmother at this writing is 96 years old and Luke and I wanted to honor her.

So, that was it. Henry and Tess both were potentially Amelia Starr Kramer. But then we got her picture. And we were already pretty open to changing our minds. My mother called every few hours and suggested a different name but the first one she came up with stuck: Tess. It just looked like her and sounded right. It was a good thing, too, because as it turns out, Henry can pronounce it! He still struggles with Amelia!

As I said, my grandmother was a star. She began working (as a singer and entertainer) when she was 17 and retired from real estate when she was 86. She’s quite a role model. In the late 1920s she went to Paris and performed at the Casino de Paris where Josephine Baker was headlining. She also worked in radio in Chicago and went to Hollywood for awhile (you can hear her singing in the black and white movie The Mystery of Edwin Drood). When she went to Paris, she had a chaperone who was only a few years older than her but was her traveling companion. Her name was Tess. They remained friends for decades. Tess lived in New York and they spoke on the phone throughout the years until Tess died a few years ago.

So that’s where she got her name.

Then there’s her name now—given to her by her caretakers in India. It is Gargi which I now know is pronounced with two hard “g”s and the i sounds like e. I looked it up on the internet and the meaning is “learned woman.” Recently, I met a woman from India (with a beautiful spirit and warm personality—I could go on about meeting Snigda but I’ll save that). I asked her how to pronounce Gargi and she told me. She also told me that it was a great name to have and that Gargi was a woman known for her intellect and her ability to win in debates against men. That IS a great name to have.

We will use Gargi at first and in combination with Tess as she learns her name. But I think, too, that it will stay with her/us as a name of endearment. Kind of like my mom at times used to call me Allanah which is my Hebrew name. Tess will have lots of names because she, like Henry, will also have a Hebrew name. Although we never call Henry Or’Chiam ben Allanah v’ Ori (his Hebrew name). We’ve stuck to Henry Penny and Boogie Shug.

To Bring Henry or Not To Bring Henry? (Advice welcome)

2006-12-20T12:54:00.000-08:00

I’m so indecisive (if you haven’t guessed—it’s Ellen writing). We are beside ourselves about the whole not taking Henry with us/taking Henry with us thing. So we are welcoming your thoughts.

The No side of things: The adoption agency discourages it. They say it’s busy enough and difficult enough without an extra child along. There’s lots of waiting in lines at the U.S. Embassy in Delhi—for a couple of days. Our parents worry that he’ll get sick while he’s there. I worry about him not having anything to eat because I don’t know what to expect—he doesn’t eat meat and he doesn’t eat much that is unfamiliar to him. And it’s expensive to travel to India and we may not be able to afford it. We would also have some time just with Tess, probably the only time like that.

The Yes side of things: It would be a once-in-a-lifetime family bonding time. He would have a chance to be a part of it all which I think is important since his life is about to change quite a bit. I wouldn’t be worried out of my mind the two weeks we’re traveling—I’ve only been apart from him at the most for two nights when I went to Vermont and even then, he was with Luke. He wants to go, even if he doesn’t know what that means. And every day for a week he’s said to me, “Mommy, I love you. Don’t ever leave me.” Gee, how could I leave him?

Okay, bring it on—all of your sage advice, every one of you. Even if you are someone who stumbled onto this site and I don’t know you. And especially if you’ve traveled to India before (or live in India! Like Snigda’s niece—hint, hint).

We're Legal

2006-12-20T12:52:00.000-08:00

It finally happened. And patience has paid off. The judge in India has approved our case and signed the papers. How wonderful is that? He actually approved the case on December 8 when it was scheduled to be heard. We received notification yesterday (December 18) that it was signed. There’s a delay because after the case was approved, papers had to be drawn up by the lawyers and then the judge has to revisit the case. But that hurdle is over!

Next, Ms. Roy, who is the head of the Indian Society for the Rehabilation of Children (ISRC) in Kolkata, will take the paper (called Legals) to the U.S. Consulate to attest and will file for her passport there. The papers are then shipped to the adoption agency in Tulsa and are used to file for our I-600 a or b. Once her passport is issued, we are able to travel. We’re looking at a month or so.

Yay!

p.s. Since I wrote this, her papers were attested by the U.S. Consulate and the passport has been filed for—and we expect her papers to arrive in the U.S. next week. Maybe we'll travel mid-January which is also the time our fingerprints with the INS expire but that's another story.

Save the Date!!

2006-12-05T06:25:00.000-08:00

We receive the following email only moments ago...

Dear Luke and Ellen,

Your case’s court date is December 8th . As this judge has been quite unpredictable and undependable, please hold this date lightly as ISRC and the other children’s homes are going to the highcourt soon and that could change everything

Tami Davidson, MSW

IndiaProgram Director/ Waiting Child Coordinator

Dillon International, Inc.

We are very excited as you can imagine! We are hoping to push through this process as this is the only thing keeping our baby girl from coming home. Look at that picture below and tell me she isn't the most beautiful thing you have ever seen! We'll keep you 'posted'!!

Tess Amelia Starr at 9 months

2006-12-03T10:17:00.000-08:00

Here's our greatly anticipated new photo which arrived on December 1st, her 9-month birthday. Isn't she sweet!

Heart on My Sleeve

2006-11-19T17:18:00.000-08:00

Okay, here it is. The big heart-on-my-sleeve moment. A good cry is coming on—I feel it. And for good reason. We got this really great news today followed by a big fat bummer.

The good news: The petition to the higher courts that the orphanages finally decided to follow through on had positive results. The higher courts put pressure on the inactive judge who has responded by setting court dates for all of the cases. We were told that the dates are from Nov. 20 to Dec. 10. and that we would get a follow-up email with our date.

The bad news: Our follow-up email said that we have no court date because we are still in the “scrutinizing” stage. What!!!?!??? This is news to us. Now they are saying that if we are lucky her case will get through this mystery stage and get a court date but most likely not until the end of December. So that means traveling at the earliest at the end of January. I’m in a bad mood.

The consolation: They are sending new pictures of the babies and new information about their heights and weights. So for the first time since July, we’ll see how she’s grown. Check back soon for a new picture. That’s what you call bittersweet, I think.

I’m beside myself but after this venting I will try to cheer up and be positive. The only way to be. Thanks for listening.

What Now?

2006-10-30T12:39:00.000-08:00

Well, for all of you wondering (as we are) we are still pretty much on track for what’s expected. Now that we have a baby waiting for us, and a pretty face to go with our idea of her, it’s hard to wait. She’s a real person and we real-ly want to hold her, take care of her and introduce her to her big brother, family and friends. So, it’s hard to wait.

At the same time, we’re barely ready for her—-her room needs some serious organizing! And maybe, at some point, we need to get her something to wear. Good heavens!

So, here’s what they told us to expect: After receiving her NOC (which we did September 12), her case goes to the courts. There have been delays because the judge is new and then the courts were closed for a national holiday that lasted a couple of weeks. There’s surely another one of those around the corner so maybe the judge will make fast decisions! At the court, they go over all the documents and make sure everything is in order and legal and signed and notarized, etc., etc. Then they issue guardianship. We were told that this all could take 30-45 days or longer. That would make it Oct. 12 at the earliest or the 27th at the latest. So, we’re still right in there. If they were talking business days (some of the estimates said business days, this one didn’t, but who knows—and they are just estimates, anyway), it would be Oct. 24 – Nov. 14.

When I told people we might go by the end of December, I think I used business days for most estimates.

Then the people at the facility where Tess is submit papers to the U.S. Consulate in Kolkata to get her passport started (which we will finish when we go to Delhi). This takes 30-45 business days.

The papers that the court issued get sent to the adoption agency who makes copies for our government stuff and then we file the final part of our I-600. And the agency lets us know what’s left before we make travel arrangements.

In the meantime, we’re trying to get our Visas to travel to India. And we’re waiting. Hope to have information soon to share with you!

..............................

Since I wrote the above, another Indian holiday has come and gone with the courts closing and opening. The latest word from the agency is that there is no latest word. Comforting. The good news is that we have done some cleaning and organizing around the house and, although she still has nothing to wear, we do have a space to for her to call her own.

Ray Winder Field

2006-09-15T09:31:00.000-07:00

It was Happy Sad Day at Ray Winder Field on Sunday, September 3rd. It was the last day the minor league team, the Arkansas Travelers, were playing at the vintage baseball field that, according to t-shirts, has been around for 75 years. If you haven’t been there, it’s got all the charm of its 75 years: the old wooden seats and the intimate, humble space and, of course, the requisite organ that will surely be transported to the newer, fancier stadium being built in North Little Rock. It’s also got some “modern” conveniences—or oddities—like the bathrooms that are a solid sheet of metal. Good for hosing down, I suppose.

I’m not old enough to have a 75-year history with the place. In fact, I’m a Johnny-come-lately. I started going to the Travs games in the 1980s when I was in college. My fondest memory of those days is the Beer Man! who serviced the rowdy crowd on the bleachers behind third base and passed away some years ago.

Luke has a more entertaining history with the Travs at Ray Winder Field. He’s the only person I know personally that has won a Clunker Car—a two-toned Chevy Chevette that, after driving around in it and referring to the unused car as “his OTHER car” in a bragging-cuz-I-got-two-cars kind of way, he sold for 100 bucks.

Luke’s also the only person I know who’s called Bingo at the Travs game. In between bellows of “B-12!” and “O-65”, he’d call out, “Soooomeeeboddddy bring me some Naaaaaachos!” and he’d have 5 orders of them in 5 minutes.

I think Henry will remember his short, 4-year history at Ray Winder. At least, I hope he does. He might drive past it one day and think, “That elephant sanctuary sure reminds me of baseball.” That’s one of the ideas floating around for using the space. But I hope Henry remembers the last game. We scored some box seats through friends of Luke’s—this was major since an hour before the game we couldn’t find any seats and gave up and headed home. We got a phone call during the 2nd inning about the seats and went rushing back. We sat 5 seats down from the Governor and First Lady. Not that we voted for him! Ever! A man in the first row gave Henry a ball he caught that had an awesome black smudge on it from maybe a bat. We later had the ball signed and dated by Bill Valentine, who Luke explained to Henry is “Mr. Travelers.” Henry was also given a set of trading cards by another nice stranger and Luke caught an opposing team’s cap that a player threw into the stands and gave that to Henry (Mr. Travelers also signed that but I doubt he knew it was a Cardinals cap). It was definitely a happy day. The Travs won, by the way.

So long, Ray Winder Field. So long to being a block away from organ music, the 7th Inning Stretch, the scary donkey/horse mascot and 5 orders of nachos. It was fun!

Timeline of Adoption So Far

2006-09-15T09:17:00.000-07:00

Here’s a timeline of adoption events to date, for those going through the process, or thinking about it, or just curious:

Spring 2004 – Started talking more seriously about adoption and started looking into agencies.

August 2004 – Completed and turned in the preliminary application.

September 2004 – Attended the required adoption workshop.

October 2004 – We completed the formal application. This included essays, reference letters from friends, doctor’s notes, letters from employers, police reports, proof of insurance—I can’t remember what all, actually. Everything had to be notarized. Then all the notarized documents had to be certified by the Secretary of State’s office. Some had to be re-notarized because the notary neglected to put his/her expiration date or some other thing like that. And then re-certified.

December 2004 – Home study interview was done. We cleaned and cleaned and cleaned for that day!

January 2005 – Pre-filing the I-600 A with Immigration. I think this is when we went to Memphis to get fingerprinted. We waited a long time for this. They mis-filed our application so they never scheduled an appointment for us. After investigation, we got on their schedule but they forgot to tell us that they changed locations. Still in Memphis, thank goodness, so we eventually got there.

February 2005 – Home study was completed.

May 2005 – Our dossier was complete! And sent to India.

July 17, 2006 – Referral! A year and a couple of months after completing the dossier, we received notification of a referral which means that they had a child in India who was available to us should we accept the referral. We received only medical records.

July 19, 2006 – Henry called our social worker and accepted the referral. She was born March 1st and is at the Indian Society for the Rehabilitation of Children in Calcutta, India. The name given her at the ISRC is Gargi. We have named her Tess Amelia Starr. A few days later, we received her picture—the only one we have.

September 12, 2006 – NOC granted! Another big hurdle since this can get seriously delayed. This is a No Objection Certificate and means we are allowed to adopt her.

Henry and Tess

2006-08-25T08:41:00.000-07:00

Joined together here only in pictures, Henry and Tess will be together soon. And he can hardly wait. The process thus far has been a long one. We started our journey more than two years ago. People at the time asked how we thought Henry would adjust to a new sibling (he is currently the center of attention, you know). We joked that our plan was to use the waiting time to our advantage and have him begging for a little sister by the time we got her. It seems to have worked, to our surprise. He is eagerly anticipating her arrival. He insists on going with us, in fact. But looking at other blogs of folks going through the same process, it seems like not such a good idea. We'll have to come up with another plan.

For those who may not be familiar with the process, we received a referral for a baby girl from India in July after months and months of paperwork and notarizing and waiting. She was soon turning 5 months (she was born March 1st - a Pisces). We reviewed the paperwork with our pediatrician, Eugene Lu, and decided to accept the referral. Henry did the accepting. He called our agency contact from The Italian Couple where we were celebrating on pasta and Italian beer (not for Henry!) and left her a message on her answering machine saying he wanted his baby sister. After signing a zillion and one pieces of paper (some bound by string) and having every other one notarize (and here I must give a big shout out to Kevin -- thank you so much!) and sending them in, we received the above picture -- our one and only.

Since then, it's been all about Tess. Tess and Henry. Just yesterday, Henry and I were talking about being vegetarians. I was naming off all the other vegetarians/vegans we know. "You're vegetarian just like mommy. And daddy. And Milo. And Rhett. And Julian...." I went on. "And Tess!" exclaimed Henry. "Yes, and Tess." At least she will be anyway! Until she rebels.

I hope that this new blog thing that I have never tried before will be something you like. It's partly for friends and family who want to keep up-to-date with the news. It's partly for people going through this themselves--I hope to give a nuts and bolts account of the travel experience to help others plan their trips. It's been so helpful to me to view others' blogs and find out more about what to expect. And, finally, this is mostly for us: Luke, Ellen, Henry and Tess. A kind of baby book.

Thanks for reading. More as soon as there is any...